


Hell Yeah

by KJillian423



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Castiel/Dean Winchester BDSM, Dildos, Handcuffs, M/M, Riding Crops, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-05-22 23:46:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6097864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJillian423/pseuds/KJillian423
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has become the new King of Hell, captured Castiel, and is ready to have some fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. PART 1

Demon Dean, the new king of hell, sat upon his throne thinking about his most recent captive. After the fall, after Metatron cast so many angels to earth, the demons had taken it upon themselves to collect and kill them all. This mission had been in place long before Dean came to power and, after he took over, he’d done nothing to stop it. However he knew that Castiel had been a main target for angels and demons alike, so he’d created a specific amendment. If and when the angel was captured he was to be brought directly to Dean.  
“Hello my fine feathered friend,” the Winchester greeted Castiel with a wicked grin the day he was presented before him.  
“Dean” Castiel replied, in his usual monosyllabic manner. Two demons were standing guard on either side of the angel as he stood, handcuffed, in front of their king.  
“This is a great day for me,” Dean said continuing to smirk. “I’ve been waiting for them to find you. We’re going to have so much fun together.”  
“I’m surprised you couldn’t come get me yourself,” the angel remarked angrily jerking his arm away from one of the demons.  
“Oh I’ll come for you…soon enough,” Dean replied slowly in a low suggestive tone. However this statement got him a few sideways glances from his minions, so the King quickly ordered them to throw the angel in a cell. He carried on with the rest of his day as usual, sentencing Crowley supporters to death, and sending new spies out to keep tabs on Sam. But his mind continually drifted back to Castiel and all of the things he had in store for him, all of the deviant plans he’d created while awaiting his capture. When Dean had become a demon lots of feelings and emotions had been tossed aside, allowing for baser and more brutal desires to take over. This had transformed the ridiculous pining he’d felt for the angel as a human into something more intense, obsessive, and hungry. The purity of his feelings towards Castiel, the love and respect, had been mangled.

Castiel waited in his cell for Dean to arrive and torture him but, much to the angel’s horror, something even worse happened. A pair of demons, sporting a pair of redheaded twins, came and took him to a BDSM chamber.  
“Strip,” the one on the left ordered him.  
“Here?” Castiel said looking around in confusion.  
“Strip,” the one on the right reiterated adding, “Or if you don’t boss says we get to disrobe you.”  
“I’ve got it” the angel responded putting out a hand defensively to ward off any advances, before beginning to remove his clothes. The twins crossed their arms in unison and watched him undress. Afterwards, they collected his clothing and exited the room without another word. Castiel stood there, naked, and continued to eye the various objects of his inevitable torture. He let out one heavy sigh after a few moments, suspecting that he should relish these last few seconds before the pain started, and stepped tentatively towards a rack of riding crops.  
“Riding crop it is” Dean stated. He’d been leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed, watching the angel with amusement. Castiel was a little startled by the sound and quickly turned around.  
“Or you could give me my clothes back and we could skip the torture. You don’t have to do this,” Castiel replied and Dean could hear the fleeting hope lodged in his words.  
“How right you are. I don’t have to do anything,” the Winchester replied glibly as his eyes became lacquer pools of obsidian. “But there are so many wondrous things that I want to do…and I intend to do them to you.” Dean was wearing a very form fitting black three piece suit, with a black button down shirt, and shiny black oxfords. His necktie was matte black with a subtle filigree pattern on it, in a slightly shinier black.  
“Why are you wearing a suit?” Castiel asked trying to change the subject. “Are you attempting to dress the part?”  
“Black on black. Like pleasure and a little pain,” Dean replied before shooting the angel another wicked grin. “The sacred…and profane,” he stated gesturing first to the angel and then back to himself.  
“I, uh, don’t understand,” Castiel said tilting his head to the side as his eyebrows furrowed with confusion.  
“Yeah, I know” Dean sighed and chuckled a little. He snapped his fingers and suddenly Castiel was in handcuffs again.  
“Dean, wait-” the angel protested but the Winchester quickly held up a hand to silence him. He sauntered towards Castiel eyeing him up and down all the while.  
“You know I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect” Dean spoke softly with admiration, placing his hands lightly on Castiel’s shoulders once he was near enough. “I mean…fantasies don’t compare…”  
Castiel stood there, speechless, as it dawned on him what Dean was intending to do. He and the elder Winchester had long shared something that, he knew, went beyond mere friendship. That didn’t make this moment any less surprising. In fact he’d expected the exact opposite. He’d assumed that Dean’s new demon nature would’ve cancelled out any kindred feelings. Instead, as Castiel was beginning to see, it had become more of a catalyst for the man to express a number of suppressed desires.  
“Dean, this isn’t you” Castiel said trying, and failing, to resist shuddering as the Winchester slowly trailed his fingers down the angel’s biceps. When Dean reached Castiel’s hands he gently lifted them to fasten the chain, on the handcuffs, over a hook hanging above his head.  
“Yes,” Dean whispered into Castiel’s ear. “It really, really is.” After that the angel remained silent for a time and focused on bracing himself. Dean walked to the other side of the room again, still in Castiel’s line of sight. He removed his jacket and placed it neatly over the back of a red leather chair, and then proceeded to roll up his sleeves.  
“You know, personally, I prefer this one…what do you think?” Dean asked grabbing a white leather riding crop from the rack. Castiel made no reply, though he couldn’t help following the motion of Dean’s palm as it slid up and down the handle. The Winchester mentally noted the angel’s reaction with delight. Although when he saw Castiel’s adam’s apple bob, as he swallowed, Dean had to resist tossing the riding crop aside and fucking him right then and there. The Winchester bit down on his bottom lip, hard.  
Castiel felt the very first hit from the riding crop land on his ass with a loud crack, and his whole body tensed as he absorbed the pain. It wasn’t as bad as he’d expected. The second and third were also fairly tolerable. Although, as he received the fourth and fifth, the pain quickly became less stinging and more biting. He let out a small cry after the sixth strike and expected things to become far worse. However the beating abruptly ended, and the angel heard rather than saw the riding crop fall to the floor. Dean approached him directly afterwards and whispered into his ear once again. Having been standing behind the angel the Winchester addressed him from over his shoulder, and took great care not to bump against Castiel’s now tenderized ass.  
“See? Not so bad,” the Winchester spoke and the angel shivered at the feeling of his hot breath against his neck. “Tell me you want this too” Dean said suddenly, closing his eyes as his lips brushed against the angel’s ear. “Tell me how long you’ve been waiting for me to fuck you.”  
“I’ve been waiting…” Castiel replied hesitantly. “For Dean. You’re not Dean.”  
“How am I not? Nothing is possessing me. I am me. In fact I’m more me than I’ve ever been,” Dean said pulling away and walking around to face him. “What you were waiting for was never going to happen. That mask. That pathetic coward you fell for in every way imaginable. He’s not here anymore!”  
“You’re wrong,” Castiel disagreed. “I know you’re still in there Dean.”  
“Well,” Dean sighed and shrugged nonchalantly. “Guess I’ll just have to do for now. You know…while you wait.”  
“I’ve got time,” Castiel replied equally unyielding.  
“What do you think Cas?” Dean whispered, and leaned in until their mouths were mere inches apart. “Should we find out if true love’s kiss can break the spell?” The angel made no reply to this query, though his brow furrowed and his jaw clenched as he prepared himself for the inevitable. Dean released a small smile as he watched Castiel attempt to not enjoy the idea.  
“Listen,” the angel said softly. “Dean, wherever you are in there, I want you to know this isn’t how I ever imagined we would…that we might…”  
“What?” Dean asked and then immediately, very lightly so that they were JUST barely touching, brushed his lips across the angel’s mouth. All of the air seemed to leave Castiel at that moment, his mind went completely blank, and his eyes fluttered shut. “That’s what I thought” Dean said, though his voice was shaky, exposing the fact that he’d been similarly affected. Suddenly, much to the angel’s surprise, the Winchester then gruffly took him by the hips. The celestial being could not restrain the involuntary moan that accompanied this action and, while Dean dug his fingertips into his flesh, Castiel’s head fell backwards in ecstasy.  
Dean drug his tongue up the angel’s, now elongated, neck before stating “I am going to fuck you in every way imaginable.”  
“Ehem…uhh…your highness,” a meek voice called from the doorway. Dean let out a heavy sigh and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before slowly turning to see who’d disturbed them.  
“What the hell do you want?!” he snapped at the demon.  
“I, uh, I know you were not to be disturbed…I-I uh…sorry, your grace” the nervous creature rambled.  
“If you don’t spit it out RIGHT now I will fillet you so fucking fast,” Dean threatened as his patience grew thin.  
“Yes, I-uh, I mean um i-it’s it’s just there’s a new report re-regarding your brother - I mean Sam Winchester- your majesty,” the demon replied cowering under his King’s disapproving glare.  
“I am only going to say this once, so listen closely, until I exit this room NO ONE is to come in here at ANY point in time for ANY reason! I do not care about my brother’s latest dentist appointment or milk run. I do not care if he even shows up IN HELL demanding my presence! I. Don’t. Care. And now you have the extreme honor of standing outside that door and telling all the other little demons, creatures, or figures of influence that happen to trot by the exact same thing. Got it?” Dean said narrowing his eyes at the pathetic pawn.  
“Y-yes, yes of course. Got it. I will keep watch with the twins, your excellence. I won’t fail you!” the demon replied skittering his way back out the door as quickly as he could manage.  
“Kids…am I right?” Dean said, smiling as he turned back towards Castiel once they were alone again. However the angel was doing his best to avoid eye contact. He still had a semi-hard on from their most recent activity, and had hoped it would disappear by the time Dean had finished scolding the intruder. Unfortunately the demon King was no fool. He strolled back over to Castiel and, making sure to get as close as possible without touching him, proceeded to slowly reach up and unhook his cuffs. Dean intentionally maintained eye contact while he did this and smirked as Castiel’s face became flushed.  
“To bed with you now” Dean said, leading the angel by his handcuffs over to a king sized bed. The purpose of the barred silver metal headboard was clear and Castiel knew, the moment he saw it, what Dean intended to do. The demon King whipped the angel around and shoved him backwards onto the mattress. After this Dean quickly crawled on top of Castiel and straddled his hips. Without a word he took the angel’s hands in his own and, once again, gently lifted them above his head. Then, with a snap of his fingers, the chain of Castiel’s handcuffs were linked around two of the bars in the headboard. A slow sly smile crept across Dean’s face then. He began to grind his hips slowly against Castiel’s, and ran his tongue suggestively over his top lip as he stared down at the angel.  
“Mmm…right where I want you,” he mumbled as he felt Castiel’s erection pressing against his own through his slacks. Dean shook his head though and abruptly hopped off the bed. “If we’re going to finally get this show on the road you’ll need a bit of prepping.”  
Castiel watched anxiously and was shocked when he saw what Dean returned with. In his left hand he held a bottle of clear lubricant and in the right he had a purple dildo.  
“Wanna know the best part about this little gizmo?” Dean said shaking the sex toy in Castiel’s direction. He paused for a moment, and bit his bottom lip again as he grinned, suppressing a burst of laughter at the sight of Castiel’s bright blue eyes growing large with alarm.  
“No Dean…I…” Castiel said, though his words quickly tapered off. His mind was drawing a blank on what he was even about to protest.  
“It vibrates” Dean elaborated eagerly, not willing to wait for the angel to finish his thought.  
“Uhhh….” came Castiel’s only reply.  
“Don’t worry big bird I’ll start with these” Dean added, setting down the lube and wiggling his fingers. The Winchester seated himself next to the angel, and set the purple dildo next to the bottle of lube on the opposite side of the bed, against Castiel’s torso. Dean remained bent over the angel’s abs, after he’d freed his hands of pleasure toys, and took a moment to lean in and press a kiss against the celestial being’s skin. Castiel watched him and found it that much harder not to enjoy the feeling of Dean’s lips caressing his skin. This act of tenderness did not last long though. He minutely pulled away, only to lean in again and flick his tongue over one of Castiel’s nipples. The angel managed to remain silent, though he had to clench his jaw again.  
“I could just take a bite out of you…mmm….but where?” Dean said, thinking aloud as his eyes raked over Castiel’s body. “Oh!” he said as a devious thought crossed his mind “I know.” At this juncture the demon King snapped his fingers, and the chain between Castiel’s handcuffs lengthened.  
“That should do the trick” Dean whispered, continuing to talk aloud to himself. Castiel watched, apprehensively, as Dean’s eyes became hooded and a look of pure lechery washed over his face. Without forewarning he grabbed Castiel and forcibly flipped him onto his stomach. Then he gruffly took the angel by his hips and pulled him into a position very similar to downward facing dog. Castiel let out a startled gasp at this action which caused Dean to chuckle lightly. However his dark mood returned just as quickly at the sight of the angel: face down and ass up. He couldn’t resist landing one hard slap on Castiel’s ass, and smiled as he heard the proceeding sharp exhale.  
“They’ll have change the saying to ‘hell fucking holy’ after I’m done with you,” Dean remarked and ran his hands from the back of Castiel’s knees up to his ass. The angel let out a low moan, and shifted a little against this softer touch, causing Dean to breathe deeply as he witnessed this reaction with great pleasure. Although the mere feeling of Castiel’s perfectly warm soft skin, under his palms, was far better than anything Dean had ever experienced before. He crouched down then and lavished the back of the angel’s left thigh, with expert attention from his mouth. Dean licked and sucked at the spot while holding Castiel’s legs apart, firmly gripping the base of his knees in each hand. The poor angel was hissing breaths through his teeth at this point, trying desperately not to beg for more. Then Dean sunk his teeth into the very spot he’d been teasing, and Castiel’s hands shot forward to grip the bars in the headboard. His knuckles turned white as he clamped his mouth shut, and buried his face in the mattress, to muffle the moans gurgling up inside his throat. His cock was aching and began dripping with precum as pleasure radiated from the spot directly to his groin.  
“Please don’t do that” Dean pleaded, his voice strained with need, after he let go. “I’d love to hear you whimpering. Begging me. Panting my name. Screaming it…I bet it’s fucking angelic.” Castiel slowly turned his head, as far as he could, to peek up at Dean but said nothing as he was still gasping for air.  
“Hell in a handbasket,” the Winchester muttered staring back at the angel’s face. The idea of his cock sliding into that lush heart-shaped mouth briefly flashed into Dean’s brain, and he felt himself grow harder. “Later,” he mumbled to himself, “Definitely giving that a whirl. But for now…” The new demon King stowed that notion away for the moment and grabbed the bottle of lube. It had rolled under Castiel, along with the purple dildo, so Dean took this opportunity to reach between the angel’s parted legs to retrieve the item. His arm brushed against Castiel’s cock which effectively elicited a slight jolt from the heavenly host, accompanied by a small gasp of shock.  
“Better,” Dean said. “But not quite what I was hoping for. Ah well…we’ll get there. We’ve got plenty of time.” He then took the lube and squirted a liberal amount into his palm and, from there, lathered it onto both the angel’s ass and his fingers.  
“Dean, wait this isn’t-” Castiel finally spoke, but his words were cut short when he felt the first of Dean’s fingers enter him. His whole body tensed in reaction. It caused him a small amount of pain at first, akin to a slight burning sensation, which slowly began to dissipate the longer Dean pushed in and out. Then, just as Castiel had become accustom to the feeling, Dean slipped in another finger. This was a huge difference already and Castiel began to dread the idea of Dean implementing the dildo. He felt stretched and it was only slightly pleasant because of the motion. An odd idea entered Castiel’s mind that it would feel a great deal better if Dean would only go deeper, but he didn’t voice this opinion because it made absolutely no sense to him. Also, he was already feeling guilty for enjoying it so much when he knew that this wasn’t Dean’s true self.  
“Don’t worry,” Dean said interrupting Castiel’s musings as he reached for the dildo. “I’ll go slowly.” But the angel was worried. He winced when Dean removed his fingers, and debated within himself about whether or not it’d do any good to protest.  
“Dean I don’t think this is a good idea. I’m not ready for something so…large” Castiel remarked, and his voice was filled with panic.  
“Really?” Dean replied and Cas could hear the amusement in his tone. Suddenly the angel heard a soft buzzing sound. Then, without any further preamble, Dean pressed the tip of the vibrating toy against Castiel’s entrance.  
“Ahhha!” the celestial being let out one wanton cry as he tightened his grip on the headboard again. Dean watched, mesmerized, as Castiel’s shoulder blades and back muscles constricted and twitched as he writhed. The demon King was very pleased with this reaction and pulled the toy away, to lubricate it, before actually inserting a few inches into the angel’s ass. Castiel’s knuckles quickly began to turn white again as Dean eased it in a little more each time. Luckily the feeling of being stretched too far and too full was only as bad as when Dean had inserted two fingers. Plus the pain from this new object subsided a lot quicker. After about thirty seconds Castiel’s grip began to loosen. The vibration was intense but good, especially when Dean pushed the dildo in far enough to reach the angel’s sweet spot. A lengthy utterance of profanities were whimpered by the heavenly host, when first Dean brushed over it, followed by a stream of broken breaths.  
“Mmm, I love it when you talk dirty” Dean said in a raspy voice. Watching Castiel react to the dildo was one thing, but hearing him was like music to the Winchester’s ears. At that moment he decided not to wait any longer. He was going to bury his cock inside Castiel, and revel in the cries of pleasure his own flesh induced.  
After making this definitive decision Dean abruptly withdrew the sex toy from the angel’s ass, turned it off, and tossed it aside.  
Castiel released one small shaky “uugh” at the action and, again, resisted the urge to beg for more. Without warning Dean gave the angel another swift slap on the ass before flipping him back over.  
“Hope you’re ready for me,” Dean remarked with a grin as he began to loosen his tie. He stripped in front of Castiel on purpose, so he could watch the angel memorize every inch of his body as it was revealed. The Winchester took great pleasure in witnessing Castiel struggle with the lust blossoming in his eyes. Though that wasn’t the only place it had bloomed. More blatant was the full-on erection that had been induced by Dean’s bite, which elated the demon King to no end. When the Winchester was fully naked he crawled on top of Castiel and, once they were face to face, he addressed the angel in silky voice.  
“How does it feel?” he purred gently rubbing their cocks together. Castiel made no reply but he was already panting. Dean stared at him, his expression filled with desire, as he continued this torment. Castiel’s body grew tense as he tried, anguished, not to give into the demon’s debauchery. Every part of him wanted to let go and respond, to grind back and beg, to taste and touch. But the thought that this might not actually be what Dean wanted, that maybe his response to the pleasure could be viewed as betrayal, held the angel back. Although Castiel wasn’t sure he would be able to resist much longer. The look the demon was giving him, not to mention the utter bliss of skin to skin contact, was pushing him steadily towards his breaking point.  
Dean watched the angel’s expression scrupulously. Being so close together was nearly overwhelming. Castiel smelled like a warm bar of soap, a little salty now that he was sweating, mixed with a little something else that was wholly unique to just him. The Winchester leaned down and nuzzled his face into the crook of the angel’s neck and bit him again. This time he was not so quick to release. The sound of Castiel’s groan vibrated in his throat, allowing Dean the pleasure of feeling it against his tongue. The demon King inhaled the angel’s scent deeply before letting go, and trailed kisses up to his jaw.  
“I’m going to be inside you Cas. I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to make you come so hard, and then I’m gonna fuck you again” Dean whispered into the benevolent being’s ear. Much to the Winchester’s surprise the angel actually replied, but it was what he said that shocked the demon King the most.  
“Kiss me, please” Castiel requested and his voice was so soft it was almost a whisper.  
“Where?” Dean replied lifting his head to look into the angel’s eyes.  
“My mouth…you never actually did…before,” Castiel elaborated looking anywhere except at Dean.  
“Is this you finally admitting that I’m right?” Dean asked confused. “Admitting that I’m me.”  
“No, I’ve just always wanted to…kiss you. I’m so sorry Dean but if I’m to undergo this torment I’d just like to have this one thing. The rest aside I would kiss you. You. If ever…” Castiel said but was unable to finish his thought. A heavy dose of regret and sadness overcame him in that moment, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he released a heavy sigh. The demon King had stopped all motion as he looked down at the angel. He considered this request and weighed his options before proceeding.  
“A kiss,” Dean said after a minute. “You’ll be begging me for more than that before we’re done. I’ll make sure of it.” After this statement the Winchester leaned forward and pressed his lips against Castiel’s. It started chaste and, in truth, the demon had planned to leave it as such but the feel of the angel’s plush mouth was too good to resist. Dean slid his tongue out, parting Castiel’s lips, and was rewarded with a moan. Slowly, sweetly, he felt the celestial being’s tentative response. The feel of Dean’s stubble scraping against his own, as their mouths and tongues desperately crashed together, caused Castiel to forget himself for a moment. His hands gripped the chains of the handcuffs for support as he shifted himself a little to wrap his legs around Dean’s waist. The Winchester moaned against Castiel’s open mouth, and dug his fingers into the angel’s hair as they continued to kiss. The heady desire that washed over Dean then, as he tasted Cas and felt his embrace, was almost enough to send him over the edge. The angel was finally responding, revealing a modicum of his own desire, and it was hotter than anything else the demon could’ve imagined. He never wanted it to end. In fact a new idea had entered Dean’s addled brain then. The idea of Castiel fucking HIM over a counter. The demon King had no idea of how he’d convince the angel to perform such an act, but he was dead-set now on making it happen…eventually. For now he was content to settle for pounding into him with everything he had. Dean suddenly pulled away from Castiel to reposition himself. However Cas, now realizing how far things had gone, let his legs fall to either side of the Winchester.  
“No ya don’t,” Dean grumbled catching one of the angel’s thighs in his hand and placing it back up around his waist. “This one too,” he mumbled trailing his other hand over Castiel’s hip and down his other leg before lifting it back up. “I need you to stay as you were, trust me, it’ll work better. I would’ve had you do it anyway.” The angel obeyed but only because he knew what was going to happen next. Also he knew that, if he didn’t, Dean would just flip him over again and he preferred the idea of being face to face. The demon King grabbed the bottle of lube again and put more on Castiel’s ass and, this time, on his cock.  
“Dean,” Castiel cried out when he first felt the demon insert the tip. It was the same slight burning sensation and it continued for the first twenty seconds, as the angel became accustom to the feeling. Dean withdrew and pushed further in a little more each time, though it was difficult because Castiel was so tense.  
“Fuck…you’re so…tight again already…shit,” Dean groaned between gasps for air. After a while the pain subsided and Castiel began to feel the same bursts of pleasure, once the Winchester was able to move with ease. Dean had found the angel’s sweet spot once more and began to push towards it rhythmically, at the same angle, every time. Castiel couldn’t resist the moans that escaped his lips after that. He let his head drop backwards and his mouth fell open wide as Dean shoved into him over and over again. He continued holding the chains on the cuffs and squeezed his legs around the demon’s waist for support. Dean, on the other hand, had taken ahold of the bedsheet in one hand and Castiel’s arm in the other. He gripped each firmly to create the leverage he needed to continuously pound into the angel’s ass. His face fell in the range of Castiel’s neck and collarbone, thus each received a number of bite marks. All this time Dean had yet to touch the angel’s throbbing cock, and Castiel was beginning to feel unbearably strained.  
“Dean…I…” Castiel whimpered but caught himself before he’d finished. He clenched his jaw and hissed breaths through his teeth.  
“Mmmyes” Dean mumbled flicking his eyes up and down the angel’s body. “You’re ready…aren’t you? Is it…torture?” he gasped between deep breaths. Dean slowed his pace then causing Castiel to involuntarily look down, but the angel instantly regretted it. The sight of Dean’s abs and hips undulating, sensuously, against him caused the angel to moan. It was painfully alluring.  
Coming to a complete halt Dean looked at Castiel and, still out of breath, said “Whether you think I’m me completely…or not…you could at least admit the truth to yourself.”  
“What?” Castiel asked, his voice strained with need.  
“That you want me. That you want more. That, right now, you’d like nothin’ better than for me to suck your cock until you come in my mouth,” Dean replied licking his lips for emphasis.  
“So what,” Castiel bit back angrily.  
“I’d be more…than happy…to oblige,” Dean remarked starting to undulate once more, unable to resist grinding his cock inside the angel any longer. “Just say it. Beg.”  
“No” Castiel answered obstinately but the Winchester could tell that he was in pain. He’d noted that Castiel’s cock was already dripping with precum.  
“Alright,” Dean stated beginning to move faster. “Don’t beg then.” He pounded into Castiel again but this time it was harder and more purposeful. The angel could tell that Dean was finishing himself, with no intention of allowing Castiel the same kindness. After a few moments the Winchester stilled, his entire body tensing, as he came and he let out one low grunt. Once he’d finished he quickly pulled out of Castiel and climbed off of him. The angel could do nothing but lay there, aching, as he was still hard and handcuffed to the bed.  
“Time for a shower,” Dean said standing over the angel and glancing over his body again. He snapped his fingers and Castiel’s handcuffs were no longer linked to the headboard. Gently the Winchester assisted the celestial being off the bed and onto his feet. Unfortunately the angel was weaker now and almost toppled over when he tried to walk.  
“Whoa there” Dean mumbled as he reached out to steady him. He allowed Castiel’s chest to lean against his own without thinking, and abruptly heard a small cry. The angel’s erection had become painful and when he’d leaned against the demon it’d bumped his hip. The Winchester made no remarks regarding this, only repositioned himself so that he could continue to assist without causing injury.  
Once they were in the shower Dean washed himself first, very quickly, and then took his time with the angel. He shampooed and conditioned Castiel’s hair for starters, in truth, just trying to give him some time to relax. He then proceeded to pour some body wash onto a sponge, creating a lather, and slowly brushed it over the angel’s body. Castiel was a little startled by such tenderness coming from demon Dean but he kept in mind that, only fifteen minutes earlier, he’d denied him an orgasm. Which, at that point, had waned enough to not be painful.  
“I don’t know why we’re doing this,” Dean remarked gesturing towards the showerhead. “There are so many other things that I plan to do to you. Guess I was having a hard time seeing you in pain.”  
“That’s good” Castiel replied looking up at him. “That’s your humanity Dean. You should fight to hold on to that.”  
“Nah,” the Winchester said dismissively. “You’re just being so stubborn. I knew I needed to change tact. I am going to suck you and fuck you dry and, whether you admit it or not, you’ll love every minute.”  
“I don’t understand,” Castiel responded as the glimmer of hope subsided. “You’re not going to make me beg?”  
“No,” Dean answered him with a smile. “Changed my mind. See, when I saw you fighting me so hard. So, so hard…I realized what was happening inside that head of yours.” At this point the demon King stepped closer to the angel, backing him up against the shower wall, and leaned in to whisper into his ear.  
“You’re trying to be noble. Trying to resist having a good time, because you still think that good Dean is in here. That he’s watching. You’re trying not to get caught cheating, or betraying him, or whatever it is your bird brain came up with” the Winchester elaborated and rolled his eyes. “But that’s the thing. That’s what I’ve been telling you all along. I. Am. Me. Minus a few emotions. Add a few others. Me.”  
“This may be you…for now, but sooner or later Sam will find a cure. When that day comes I will await your decision, as I always have, regarding what our relationship will be. In the meantime I won’t use this version of you to my advantage. I refuse,” Castiel replied calmly.  
“Except for that kiss,” Dean responded pulling away a little to look at the angel. “You definitely didn’t have any qualms about that.”  
“To be perfectly honest Dean, if it is honesty that you seek, you’re right. I have no qualms with anything we’ve done so far and if, once you’re cured, you still wish to…continue…I would be more than willing” Castiel confessed. This rendered the demon speechless for a few minutes and he stood there, one palm on either side of the angel against the tile, just staring at him. The demon King had fully expected more protests and denials.  
“Why wait,” Dean said at last and shot Castiel one wicked grin before lowering himself to the floor. He took the angel’s cock in his hand and slowly slid his tongue over the tip. The sight of such an act was provoking, but the feeling was enough to make the angel rock hard all over again. Castiel exhaled sharply and buried his handcuffed hands into Dean’s dirty blond hair. Castiel became mesmerized by the look of Dean’s intense green eyes staring up at him. The angel was aware now that the demon was gauging his reaction, watching selfishly for the pleasure he knew this would induce. Dean drew Castiel’s cock deeper into his mouth, squeezing the throbbing member between his lips, careful not to use too much teeth. He watched gleefully as the benevolent being’s large cerulean eyes, and heart-shaped mouth, opened wide in apparent shock. As Dean picked up the pace, a cacophony resonated from the angel’s lips and he basked in the sound. The Winchester kept one hand on the angel’s cock and followed it up and down with his mouth. Meanwhile his other hand reached around and started teasing his ass again. Getting his hand wet with the shower water Dean slipped his index finger back inside the angel.  
Castiel released one loud “Ahh” and briefly tightened his grip on Dean’s hair in response to this action. But soon his eyes became hooded and he bit down on his lush lower lip, as the feeling of immense pleasure washed over him. Seeing the angel’s reaction was better than the demon had expected. Dean sucked harder on Castiel’s cock then and, taking hold of the angel’s hip, pulled it in all the way. At the same time he withdrew his finger from the angel’s ass, and maneuvered to grip the angel’s other hip. The Winchester dug his fingers into Castiel’s flesh, all the while picking up his pace, pushing and pulling the gracious being’s cock in and out of his mouth faster and faster. All the pleasure this caused began to build inside the angel’s body and he knew that he’d come soon. His breathing grew ragged and garbled the wanton moans that were tumbling out of his mouth.  
“Dean…I…I’m gonna…” Castiel croaked between gasps but it was too late. He came. Hard. His body convulsed as the come poured out of him and into Dean’s mouth. However this didn’t faze the Winchester for a minute. The angel watched his eyes turn the same lacquer black before he shut them and swallowed every drop. Then, after he’d pulled his mouth slowly off Castiel’s cock, he smirked up at him impishly before licking his lips.  
“Yummy,” Dean remarked in a low husky tone that sent a small shiver down the angel’s spine.  
After the demon King had dried them both off and led Castiel back into the playroom he turned and asked, “Are you ready for more?”  
To which the angel replied, without thought, “Hell yeah.” Demon Dean flashed him a triumphant smile, because this response told him that he very much had the angel exactly where he wanted him.


	2. PART 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has been cured & is no longer a demon. Now he & Castiel have to recover from what happened between them.

It’d been a while since Sam had cured Dean. The Mark of Cain was their biggest concern now. At least…it was for Sam. For Dean everything came second to hiding the truth. After he’d become human again he’d lied. He kept it vague by telling them “Things were a little fuzzy,” and that he “Couldn’t really remember everything.” Unfortunately, the truth was slowly eating away at his insides. Dean hadn’t had one good full night of sleep since he’d changed back. Running on empty was starting to become a way of life, but he couldn’t tell them the truth. Couldn’t tell him. Castiel. With his humanity restored so were all of his previous insecurities and complexes. Not the least of which was his oh so fragile masculinity which, to Dean, before and now almost always seemed to be in question. It was all in his head, of course, which he knew but was far too set in his ways to change. The elder Winchester was truly in love with the angel. However what he’d done to Castiel, back when he was a demon, had not been forgotten. Thus to escape the petrifying shame of having to explain his feelings for Cas to Sam, and especially to escape a confrontation with Cas (which he couldn’t even fathom), Dean had kept his truth from them. But the real catch, the bane of Dean’s current existence, were those damn memories. The reason for his insomnia. Every time the hunter laid his head to rest he’d close his eyes and the image of Castiel’s beautiful naked body, writhing underneath him, would spring to mind. His hands would ache to touch him. He could almost taste his skin. Dean’s heart would immediately begin to race, right before he forced his eyes open to shove the remembrance away. He hated himself for even being afforded the luxury of having known the angel’s form. Dean did not feel remotely worthy. Something he pined for had been reaped under the vilest circumstance. That Dean, the demon, would never have been able to truly appreciate what he’d so basely enjoyed. The pain this caused him, the soul-crushing ache, almost always brought him to tears. He couldn’t imagine a reality now where their love could endure. So he’d hardened his heart against such hopes in an effort to ease the pain. He longed, nearly every second of every day, to break all the rules. To give Sam and the world the middle finger. To take Cas into his arms once more and beg for forgiveness. But this is where dreaming ended. Because, even if Dean could let go of all the fear of being perceived as anything less than manly and tough, it didn’t mean that Cas would welcome him with open arms. He’d taken him by force and violated him in any fashion the demon found fit. Their love was now tainted, twisted and ugly, and Dean bore all the blame.  
Castiel, for his own part, had also been hiding plenty of truths. Most of which Dean already knew but was either not telling, or simply allowing Cas to keep. The angel was enduring his own heady amount of guilt. Not long, after Demon Dean had captured him, Castiel had started to give in more and more. He’d enjoyed it all. He’d wanted the Winchester just as long and just as fervently. How could he resist a creature with the exact same face and voice? But it was wrong. The angel could still feel the demon all over his body. The memories were forever etched into his brain. Unfortunately, now that Dean was back to normal, so was their relationship. Which, for Castiel, was like a special kind of torture. Poignant heartache and wretched irony. The person he’d fallen for had returned and he was not permitted to touch him in the way he wanted. Whereas, when Dean had been a demon, crossing the line was the LAST thing Cas had wanted yet that’s exactly what was demanded of him. The violation he’d endured, and the pleasure he’d taken from it, warred within him. It was a lopsided war. He could easily forgive Dean for what he’d done because he’d been a demon, out of control, acting upon base desires. He’d known all along that the real Dean would never do such a thing, and that’s what truly troubled him. Castiel knew but he’d still indulged. He considered himself to be no better than the demon at that point, and it was almost too much to bare. The fact that Dean seemed to have no memory of such events made no difference to Castiel in this regard. However, there were a few things that continued to nag at the back of the angel’s brain. Questions he never expected to get the answers to: Had Dean ever really wanted to be with him in that way, or was it all some side effect of the demon? Did such feelings flow both ways? Had Dean enjoyed any of what had occurred? Would he be repulsed if he learned of what they’d done together? What would happen to them if he suddenly remembered one day? Cas felt himself sinking into madness at such contemplations so he tried to ignore them, tune it out, and carry on.  
As for Sam, he was not blind to the strange rift between his brother and the angel. He was unaware of what had happened between Dean and Cas. He knew that, while Dean had been a demon, he’d held Castiel captive for a certain stretch of time. The younger Winchester assumed that nothing good had come of such an experience, but was confused by why it should matter now…at least on Dean’s side. Dean claimed to have no memory of what he’d done. After a few weeks Sam decided to broach the subject with his brother because the forced politeness, Dean and Cas shared, was beginning to grate on his nerves. Their mutual unspoken undercurrent was so strong, at times, Sam was sure things would come to a head. But they never did. As much as it annoyed him this also extremely worried the younger Winchester. He’d seen Dean explode after a long stretch of pent-up rage. It was the farthest thing from healthy. What had Sam even more concerned was that he knew this time would be different. He knew his brother better than any other person on the planet. They’d been through so much together. Their life was a constant living breathing struggle. And, in all their time together, Sam had never seen Dean react this way towards any person or situation. It was similar to rage but also distinctly different. Whenever Sam began to expect his brother to lash out, he found him reacting uncharacteristically warm. Anger, rage, shouts of profanity and general berating were replaced with sighs, silences, clenched fists and a shake of the head.  
“Hey Dean?” Sam addressed him as they sat in the kitchen together one morning.  
“What?” Dean said in his usual gruff early morning I-haven’t-had-my-coffee-yet way. He didn’t look at Sam but, instead, kept his eyelids shut as he sipped at the magic bean liquid.  
“Did you get any sleep?” Sam asked deciding, at the last second, to start off with an easier question.  
“…No.” Dean briefly paused before replying, contemplating making some smart remark, but he was too tired to think of one.  
“Wow, again? Sorry man. That sucks,” Sam mumbled before sipping at his own cup of coffee. He allowed, what he considered to be, an appropriate amount of time to pass between them before breaking the silence once more. “I’ve been meaning to ask…have any of your memories returned yet…from before?”  
“Nope,” Dean replied continuing to keep his eyes on his cup.  
“Really? Not even scraps?” Sam prodded.  
“No Sam. Not even scraps,” Dean said through an annoyed sigh.  
“Hmn. Ok” Sam said, purposefully, in a manner that clearly stated his disbelief.  
“Right,” Dean scoffed slowly lifting his gaze towards his brother. “Ok Sam what is it?”  
“Nothing. I mean, if you really don’t remember anything, I must’ve been imagining things,” Sam answered him in a deceptively chipper tone.  
“Yeah? And what did you imagine?” Dean asked unfazed by his brother’s antics.  
“That there’s something going on with you and Cas,” Sam stated without any hint of a joke. This caused Dean to freeze just long enough for Sam to notice.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dean grumbled as he returned to staring at his cup of coffee.  
“Yeah, see, I don’t believe you,” Sam replied. “There’s definitely something. It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it. I already know you held him captive. I can’t imagine anything good might’ve happened during that time, and I’m sorry if all you remember is torturing your best friend. But it wasn’t really you.”  
“It doesn’t matter!” Dean snapped unable to mask his anger. Lack of sleep, and the fact that Sam had nearly guessed the truth, was making him weak.  
“So you do remember” Sam said, his eyes wide with shock.  
“It doesn’t matter,” Dean repeated quietly as he closed his eyes and rubbed them in frustration. “Cas would never forgive me. He can’t. He shouldn’t. Not after what I did.”  
“Dean” Sam said furrowing his eyebrows, in disbelief, at what he was hearing. “Cas doesn’t hold any grudges towards you. Whatever it was he knows, as well as I, it wasn’t the real you. You didn’t mean any of those actions or words.”  
“It. Doesn’t. Matter” Dean said, lifting his head to look Sam in the eyes, as he stamped out each word. “I know what I did. Nothing changes that.”  
“Have you tried talking to him about it? I’m sure that would help both of you!” Sam replied ignoring his brother’s negativity.  
“Oh would you just shut your mouth! Cas and I aren’t going to have some nice little chat about-! Just…forget it Sam. Drop it,” Dean seethed slamming his coffee cup down and storming out of the room.

Unbeknownst to the brothers Castiel had overheard their conversation. He wasn’t sure how to react to the news that Dean knew what’d happened between them. The idea was almost overwhelmingly exciting and terrifying. The angel knew he must approach the hunter regarding the matter. He also knew that such a sensitive subject must be broached delicately. Unfortunately subtlety had never been Castiel’s strong suit. Being equal parts nervous and anxious the angel decided to bide his time until he felt the moment was appropriate. This accounted for two more weeks of misery. But then one day, after finishing a case, Cas found his moment. The three of them were at a bar. Sam and Dean were playing pool. Castiel nursed his 1st bottle of beer while quietly observing the game. The Winchesters, on the other hand, had already knocked back several beers and were preparing to order another round. Cas hadn’t really been watching the game so much as he had Dean’s movements, so he was startled when the hunter suddenly turned to him with a stick.  
“You wanna play?” Dean asked.  
“Can three play at once?” Cas asked, clearing his throat unnecessarily, hoping Dean hadn’t noticed him staring.  
“It’ll just be me and you. Sammy found himself a date,” the elder Winchester replied rolling his eyes.  
“…I see” Cas mumbled as he spotted Sam chatting with the bartender, a raven-haired goddess, before turning back to Dean. “Isn’t this one of those games that can be played alone?”  
“Cas it’s just pool. Do wanna play or what?” Dean said with a sigh of annoyance.  
“I don’t really know how…” the angel answered eyeing the green felt.  
Dean observed Castiel for a brief moment before shoving a pool cue into his hands and stating, “Well I guess you’re gonna learn.”  
“Dean-” Cas tried to protest but was cut short when the Winchester raised a firm hand and shook his head.  
“Now look,” Dean said carrying on. “It’s simple. You just use the cue to put the balls in the holes.” Castiel became mesmerized by the sight of Dean leaning over the table to line up a shot. He watched the hunters bright green eyes focus, his slender fingers firm, and his shoulder blades shifting under a tight plaid shirt. The angel was so dazed that he slightly jolted at the sound of the balls cracking against one another.  
“Alright,” Dean said standing upright. “Your turn.” Castiel remained silent and obeyed as best he could. He tried to imitate Dean but found the long stick awkward to manage, and missed the cue ball entirely on his 1st try. Dean let out another heavy sigh and walked over to assist the angel.  
“You’re holding the cue all wrong – here – let me help you,” the Winchester placed his hands on top of Castiel’s and gently pushed him to lean over the table. The angel felt his heart beginning to pound at the tame, yet all too familiar, motion. Worse yet Dean’s face was only centimeters away from Castiel’s. He could feel the hunter’s warmth and smell his cologne. It was almost too much for the angel to bare. Castiel froze in an effort to keep himself from trembling.  
“Before you shoot try to imagine a path between the white ball and the one you want in the pocket,” Dean spoke in a silky tone next to Castiel’s ear. This immediately brought to mind the time Demon Dean had whipped Cas with a riding crop, and the angel found himself flushing at the remembrance.  
“Your head should be lower when you aim. That’s why we’re leaned over this far,” Dean continued before turning and directly whispering into Castiel’s ear. “Go ahead. Give it a whack.” This time, when Cas took his shot the cue met directly with the ball.  
“See,” He said softly and Castiel could feel Dean’s hot breath graze his cheek. “Perfect.” The angel took a chance and slowly turned to look at the Winchester as they stood upright in unison. There was a brief moment of silence between them as the effects of such closeness hung in the air. But eventually Dean took a firm step backwards, shook his head, mumbled something about too much beer and headed to the restroom.  
The hunter was losing his resolve. Dean splashed his face with water once he’d made it into the restroom, and tried to think of anything but Cas as he fought off an erection.  
“Idiot,” he hissed quietly at his own reflection hoping and praying that the angel hadn’t felt it pressing against him. It took every bit of willpower the Winchester had not to press harder, not to grind or grab. Dean remained in the bathroom, trying to get a grip, warring with himself on whether or not to jackoff. Finally, after fifteen minutes, he’d decided just to get it over with. He locked himself in a stall and allowed the thoughts to return. He stood, leaning against the stall wall, and closed his eyes. He could feel Castiel’s body tucked underneath him, hard and soft, aching to be taken. Dean let out one long breath as he began to unzip his jeans.  
“Dean, are you in there?” Castiel’s voice suddenly rang out from the other side of the door.  
“Holy fuck Cas!” Dean snapped, startled by the interruption, and quickly zipped back up. He angrily unlocked the stall door, shoved it open, and stormed out of the restroom. He continued through the back door of the bar where he stopped, under a street light, to drag night air into his lungs.  
“I’m sorry for disturbing you. I just wanted to make sure you were ok,” Cas apologized once he’d caught up to the hunter.  
“It’s fine. I’m fine. Go back inside,” Dean said curtly.  
“You’ve imbibed a copious amount of alcohol tonight Dean. Are you sure you’re not ill?” the angel prodded as a look of concern clouded his fine features. As angry as the Winchester was he couldn’t help but sigh and chuckle at Castiel’s persistence.  
“I’m not sick. I just need a moment. Promise,” Dean answered him gently. Castiel looked at him skeptically as he turned to retreat, until it struck the angel that now would be perfect timing to talk with the hunter about his memory.  
“Your pool lesson was very instructive,” Cas said turning back towards the Winchester.  
“Yeah, don’t mention it” Dean said adding, under his breath, “Ever.”  
“It’s just…I do mention it because it reminded me of something…a certain situation,” Castiel continued. This statement immediately alarmed Dean and he shot the angel a sharp glare.  
“It was when you had first captured me. When you were a demon,” Cas said ignoring Dean’s expression.  
“Cas. Don’t. Whatever happened I don’t want to know,” Dean interjected.  
“Because it doesn’t matter?” Cas responded, pointedly, using Dean’s own words.  
“You heard…you heard Sam and I talking” Dean replied quietly, astonished by the revelation.  
“I did,” Cas confirmed.  
“Goddamnit,” Dean murmured and rubbed his temples with frustration. “So what. Yeah, it doesn’t matter. Because what I did to you…with you…it was so fucked up I don’t even how to face you most days. I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t blame you Dean. It wasn’t you. Not really,” Castiel replied reaching out to gently place a hand on Dean’s shoulder.  
“Don’t,” the Winchester snapped pulling away from the touch. “Don’t forgive me Cas! How can you? I can’t forgive myself!”  
“The things we did together…you never wanted any of it…you find it…repulsive,” Castiel said trying to get answers to the list of questions he had.  
“Yes…no…you don’t understand. I don’t want to talk about this. Just know that I’m sorry if I hurt you. I know I hurt you, in ways I’ll never be able to undo. I’m sorrier than you’ll ever know,” Dean replied, struggling to hold his emotions in check. He was still clinging tightly to the biggest secret of all: He was in love with Castiel. But he couldn’t tell the angel, he couldn’t have Sam finding out, and he hated it. Hated the coward within himself. Hated the demon who’d, by force, been able enjoy the one thing he wanted most.  
“Dean, you were a demon. Demon’s, by definition, do horrible things. If anyone should be sorry it’s me! I knew you didn’t want any of those things and yet…for a moment…I mean a couple of times…I found myself…” Castiel paused finding it harder, now that he was actually speaking with the hunter, to confess. “I found myself compromised.”  
“I know Cas. I was there. I don’t care. Anyone would’ve cracked under that kind of pressure. I shouldn’t have put you in that position in the first place. It was my fault,” Dean said unyielding.  
“Well, you put me in a lot of positions, but that’s not an excuse for…enjoying it. I didn’t want to! I mean…because it wasn’t you! Not really. But my body betrayed me,” Cas explained somberly.  
“Cas. You can’t control that kind of thing. Just like, if you eat something, you can’t control whether or not you think it tastes good. Same thing goes for sex. Like I said. This is on me. Not you,” Dean said shaking his head. “Can we drop the subject? It’s late. I’m too wasted and too tired for this shit.”  
“I’m sorry Dean. Would you like to go back to the bunker?” Cas asked. Dean nodded his reply. The angel stepped forward then and lightly touched two fingers to his forehead, instantly, zapping them back to the bunker.  
After Dean had gone to sleep Castiel sat outside and contemplated his next move. Their first conversation had not gone well. The angel glanced up at the stars before closing his eyes and letting out a heavy sigh. Suddenly, he remembered something Demon Dean had mentioned, and his eyes fluttered back open. It was back at the start of when Dean had captured him, when he first realized what the demon intended to do.  
“Nothing is possessing me. I am me. In fact I’m more me than I’ve ever been. What you were waiting for was never going to happen. That mask. That pathetic coward you fell for, in every way imaginable, he’s not here anymore!” Castiel rolled the words around again and again. Demon Dean was a form of Dean himself. It’s just that the demon had been pure impulse, selfishness, base and capricious. It was an amplifier for hidden emotions. Which meant the demon would never have forced Castiel to do any of those things unless, on some level, at some point, Dean himself had those urges. In an instant it all became clear. Castiel realized that, to what extent he did not know, Dean was attracted to him but was afraid. “Of what?” Cas thought.

Dean laid in bed, in the dark, staring at his ceiling. It was warm so he’d striped down to a t-shirt and boxers. The insomnia was settling in. The images, the aching, all flooding back the moment he shut his eyes. His brain and body becoming unavoidably energized by bittersweet memories. He let out one annoyed groan as he laid an arm across his eyes, though this did nothing to ease his pain. And then there came a tapping at his door which jolted him upright. Again Dean released a brief sound of annoyance, as he hoisted himself up out of bed, to answer the knock. He was a little surprised to find Castiel standing in his doorway once more. The hunter had hoped that the angel would simply give up on their previous conversation…at least for the rest of the night.  
“Seriously, Cas, I’m not in the mood to talk anymo-” Dean began but was cut short. Castiel, without a single word, swiftly and smoothly stepped forward, clasped the Winchester’s face in his hands and pressed their mouths together. The hunter was so shocked by this, at first, that he froze but only for a moment. Soon afterwards Dean found himself responding with every bit of passion he’d been trying so desperately to contain. He gruffly pulled the angel into the room so he could slam the door shut, before shoving Castiel up against it. Dean continued to kiss Cas in the most possessive form. He shoved his tongue between the angel’s willing lips, sucked and bit his bottom lip, all while taking the angel forcefully by the wrists to fully ensure he’d be pinned. Their hearts were pounding in unison. Pure heat clouded their vision and their minds. A moment, which had been lurking in the shadows, was now dancing in the light. Whilst continuing to kiss the angel, and firmly hold his wrists in place, Dean slowly worked his right leg between Castiel’s so he could grind his erection against his hip. Cas moaned into the hunter’s mouth when he felt it and began to do the same. Unfortunately this was too much for Dean. He wanted, needed, to fuck the angel. But his fears. Even as the angel’s lush mouth and body moved against his own, the hunter could not combat the worries bubbling in his brain. With every ounce of willpower he could muster Dean shoved himself away from Castiel.  
“We can’t,” the elder Winchester blurted as he gasped for air.  
“Why? What are you so afraid of?” Cas demanded.  
“You’d hate me…even if you don’t already…you’d hate me if I told you. I’m such a coward Cas. And besides that, it’s like I said, I can’t forgive myself for what I did to you. You deserve better...much better,” Dean lamented.  
“But I want you and you clearly want me. Why do you think I kissed you?” Cas replied.  
“I have no clue how you can you even bare to look at me!” Dean croaked as a lump caught in his throat. He was too tired to fight off the emotions he’d been stockpiling.  
“You’ve broken yourself more than you’ve broken me, I assure you. I also hold a substantial amount of guilt, for what happened during that time,…so maybe it wasn’t all so wrong” Castiel said softly searching the hunter’s face for shred of hope.  
“Yeah, well, it certainly wasn’t right I know that much” Dean sighed heavily. “But, Cas, you’re missing the point. It doesn’t matter because, either way, I can’t do this. I can’t be with you…even though…I want to.”  
“I assume the reason you think you can’t be with me is also the reason you consider yourself a coward? …That doesn’t make any sense,” Cas stated shaking his head. “You’ve never let fear get in the way of anything for as long as I’ve known you.”  
“Cas…” Dean spoke, though he couldn’t think of any response. He gazed at the angel with sorrow, for a long time, before closing his eyes and hanging his head in shame.  
“Dean…” Castiel spoke softly, as he took the necessary steps forward to place a hand on the Winchester’s shoulder. “I knew it was a big risk coming back to you tonight. I warred with myself and my own set of fears. But the chance to be with you, to share those things with you again, in a way that wasn’t…tainted…that’s why I risked kissing you. Please,” the angel continued as his voice began to quiver, “Please don’t tell me I was wrong. That, you don’t want those things too. That you’re willing to let this go for the sake of your pride.”  
“Please,” Dean said without looking at the angel, “Please go.” He was desperately trying to hide the tears streaming down his face, but Castiel could feel the Winchester’s body trembling beneath his hand.  
“Damnit Dean,” Castiel cursed beneath his breath. He did not move except to gently lift Dean’s chin with his free hand, as his other remained firmly planted on the man’s shoulder. Dean allowed the angel to do these things, because he didn’t possess the willpower to push Cas away a 2nd time. He only hoped that the celestial being might oblige and obey his weak command.  
“You could banish me with a word and I would obey this time but please…don’t” Castiel pleaded, in a half-whisper half-prayer, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against Dean’s. The Winchester gruffly grabbed the angel’s coat by the shoulders balling the fabric in his fists, until his knuckles turned white, but he remained silent. Dean squeezed his eyes shut tighter trying, and failing, to stop the tears. He clenched his jaw trying to quell the rage boiling his blood. Rage at the past that had tainted their future. Rage at Castiel for even making him feel this way. Rage at himself for being completely unable to stop it. Rage at Sam who, Dean was positive, would not accept them. Rage at the world for saying it was wrong. And lastly rage, again, at himself for caring so much about other people’s opinions. Yet somehow, in that singular moment of rage upon rage, Dean found a way to expel it all with one angry cry. Meanwhile his angel held onto him equally tight. In the end they were huddled together, on the floor, on their knees. Eventually Dean released his grip on Castiel’s trench coat to snake his arms around the angel’s neck, and pull him closer. Even then they said nothing. The moment was allowed to pass quietly contented and comforted by the embrace, until it naturally became more. As he pulled away Dean’s lips seemed to naturally gravitate towards Castiel’s. Only, this time, there would be no stopping. No exit signs. Nothing withheld.  
Dean wrapped Castiel’s tie around his hand, as they continued to kiss, and gently pulled the angel on top of him as they fell to the floor. Cas released a small moan once his body was fully pressed against Dean’s. The angel grabbed the hunter’s wrists and held them down as his mouth traveled to Dean’s neck, where he let his lips linger. The Winchester writhed beneath Castiel and his breathing became erratic as he longed to ravish and be ravished. But the angel was taking his time. Savoring the moment. He moved his lips gently across Dean’s neck to really allow himself the feeling of the man’s skin and stubble, to breathe him in, and relish the movements of his body. However, not long afterwards, Cas could feel himself becoming hard and the sense of urgency returning. The angel could also plainly feel the Winchester’s erection through his thin pair of briefs, which only further aroused him. Castiel released Dean’s wrists to begin removing his clothing. Dean assisted in this endeavor. Cas undid his tie and threw it aside. Dean pulled him into a kiss as he undid the buttons of his white dress shirt. Meanwhile Cas shuffled out of his trench coat. Once both Dean and Castiel were half naked the hunter, feeling impatient, pulled the angel back down on top of him. It was ecstasy to finally feel skin against skin. Dean trailed his fingertips up and down Castiel’s back and shoulders as he licked and sucked at the crook of his neck. Then Dean’s hands found their way to the angel’s ass, where they squeezed and pressed Castiel’s pelvis into his own. Castiel could not suppress the loud moan that escaped his lips then. He gladly obliged the unspoken request and grinded their erections together. At this Dean abruptly changed gears. He rolled them over so he could be on top, grabbed Castiel’s face with both hands, and kissed him possessively. Dean forcefully separated his lips with his tongue and ran it along the roof of Cas’ mouth, then along his lower lip, before taking it between his teeth. Castiel could feel the impression of Dean’s bite even after he’d been released, and something about this caused him to shiver with need.  
“Stay still,” Dean whispered and his lips brushed against the angel’s as he spoke. He then proceeded to trail kisses down the angel’s neck, and chest, until he came to the spot just below Castiel’s navel. Dean pressed his mouth firmly into the spot and relished the sound of the angel gasping for air, as his hips jolted upward. Dean continued down, overtop Cas’ pants, until his mouth met with the angel’s erection. Here Dean took hold of the angel’s hips. He widened his mouth to gently bite down on the bulge of flesh and fabric. Castiel arched his back and let out a wanton cry as his hands flew to Dean’s head. He dug his fingers into the hunter’s hair and tenderly tugged. Panting Dean released Cas and sat up onto his knees. He slid his fingers into the front of the angel’s slacks, gripped his belt and pants in a fist, and gruffly pulled at the material.  
“Let’s get these off,” Dean said breathlessly. The sounds the angel had been making were so arousing that Dean’s hard-on had twitched with anticipation, which effectively cleared his minds of all other thoughts but one: being inside Castiel. He didn’t wait for Cas to reply before taking action. He quickly undid the angel’s belt and, in one smooth motion, removed Castiel’s slacks and briefs altogether. Cas helped by kicking off his shoes. Then Dean removed his own underwear. His last item of clothing. The Winchester did not climb back on top of the angel though, instead he took Castiel’s hands in his own and pulled him up from the floor as he stood. Each man briefly examined the other. Glancing over familiar forms in the dark quietude. Dean softly ran his hands up and down Castiel’s arms as the angel took hold of his waist.  
“I never thought…” Cas whispered pressing a tender kiss against Dean’s lips.  
“What?” Dean asked quietly with his eyes closed.  
“Is this real?” Cas said and the hunter could hear the pain in his voice. Dean’s eyes fluttered open and was surprised to see a look of trepidation clouding the angel’s face. The Winchester took one of the celestial being’s hands and pressed it against his bare chest.  
“I’m real,” Dean stated before pulling Castiel into an embrace. “This is real…I’m real,” he repeated as he began to kiss the angel’s neck. Castiel clung to the hunter as they made their way to the bed. And, as Dean pressed him onto the mattress, the fear quickly dissipated.  
“I’m yours,” Dean breathed as he grinded against Cas. “And you’re mine.”  
“Dean,” Castiel croaked between panting. “Fuck me.”  
“Yes,” the Winchester growled causing Cas to shiver with need. He could feel Dean’s cock pressing hard against his own and, moaning, he involuntarily rubbed against it. The hunter released one low breath, bit down on the angel’s shoulder, and buried one of his hands in Castiel’s hair.  
“I’m gonna fuck you so hard. Possibly too hard,” Dean spoke in a strained tone. “Because of how much I want you.” He then briefly lifted himself off of Cas to open the drawer in his nightstand to grab a packet of lube, which he liberally applied to the angel and himself. Castiel let out a small cry as Dean first shoved one finger into him and then two. The hunter scooted further down on the bed so he could take hold of Castiel’s member. The angel sharply inhaled at the sensation of the hunter’s tongue on his tip. It was a tortuous pleasure, the feeling of Dean’s fingers moving in and out of him while his tongue teased the bundle of nerves at the edge of his cock. But the Winchester purposely refused to actually blow him. Instead, when Cas was good and ready, Dean withdrew his fingers and roughly shoved himself into the angel. They cried out together with mutual satisfaction. Once again Dean pressed his mouth against the angel’s as he began to undulate in and out of him. Castiel wrapped his arms and legs around Dean as their bodies quickly became covered in sweat. Being inside of Cas, listening to him pant and moan, was quickly pushing Dean towards his peak. For the angel it was a combination of Dean’s cock rocking in and out of him, the sounds of their flesh slapping together, and watching the hunter’s firm chest and arms flexing as sweat dripped off of him. Suddenly Dean took hold of Castiel’s cock again and began sliding his hand up and down the shaft as rapidly as he could.  
“Come for me,” Dean gasped pounding into Cas harder and harder. The angel’s breathing became louder until a small stream of mangled moans escaped his mouth, as he arched his back and stilled. The climax ricocheted throughout Castiel’s body. Cum poured from his cock across his and Dean’s chest. Seconds later the hunter came harder than he’d ever come before. He convulsed as wave after wave of cum spilled out of him into the angel’s ass. Dean couldn’t withhold a loud groan of pleasure at the supreme spike of ecstasy.  
“You’re shivering,” Castiel panted, still trying to catch his breath, once the hunter had withdrawn.  
“It’s ok,” Dean replied equally winded as he turned over and flopped next to the angel. They quickly drifted asleep after this. Completely contented.  
When tomorrow arrived they awoke a little stiff but happy. Happier, on Dean’s side, than ever before. He and Cas laid on their sides together that morning with big dumb smiles plastered on their faces.  
“I think I hear Sam moving around out there,” Dean said absentmindedly as he tenderly ran his thumb across Castiel’s lower lip. The angel leaned in and kissed his hunter. He closed his eyes and could feel Dean’s smile against his mouth as he pulled him closer.  
“Should we go tell him the good news?” Cas asked making no move to retreat.  
“Hell yeah” Dean replied grinning but, half-lidded, added “As soon as we’re finished.”


End file.
